So you go to Brazil for three days to see the band you love with all your heart, right? You don't expect to meet anyone, you don't even expect to be approached by anyone even if it's to ask you what time it is, you don't think anyone's gonna talk to you. It's just you, Brazil, your ticket for the concert, and the two girls you went with, and that's it. But the second you step out of the car at the hotel where the band is staying EVERYONE is talking to yo, and you meet the most amazing people in the world... and there's this girl, and you look at her and you know you really really want to kiss her, and you know she wants to kiss you back, but she leaves. Then you meet her again the next day at the concert's line, and you meet all this cool people too... you know you don't ever wanna leave. Inside the venue you lose her, and everyone else. You see the most amazing concert of your life after 12 hours waiting, sometimes in the rain. The show is over, you have to go, there's a storm, and you look for her, but you can't find her, you can't say goodbye, you can't see her smile again. You take a shower, sleep two hours and go to the airport... and you get home and you can't take her off of your head. You turn the computer on and there it is, she wants to add you to your IM, and she's online, and you start talking to her, and she tells you how bad she wanted to kiss you, and she tells you she looked for you but couldn't find you, and she's sad because she wanted to say goodbye as well.

The days go by, and you get to know her better, and you like her more and more everyday, and you know you would give anything to see her again, just one more time. She says she wants to be with you, but distance is just too big, there's an abyss between the two of you. And she tells her best friend about you, she talks about you all the time... and that makes her best friend jealous, so her best friend decides to tell her she has feelings for her... and then she tells you her best friend loves her, and she wants to be with her as well, but she would leave her and be with you if you lived anywhere nearer.

The days go by again, and you start noticing she's falling in love with her best friend, and then you know she wouldn't leave her for you... so you plan a trip to Brazil again, because you don't care, you want to live the experience, you want to change the way you've been living and you want to start doing things for yourself, and you know you're not afraid of taking the chance, you feel like you can do anyting you want, have anything you want, you feel that if you go there she will fall in love with you, but you realize there's no use, she doesn't feel the same way she felt two months ago. She dreams about her, not you.

So, you start watching some british drama/comedy series for "teenagers", where love is all around, and you cry sometimes, because you look back and remember you never ever had anything like that, and your last chance to have it is gone. You realize all you want in life is having someone to care about, and someone who cares about you... and you look at the present and at the future and you start thinking and asking things to yourself, and you start wondering if you will ever have the chance to meet someone you'll die for who would do the same for you.
And then you cry again, because you know you'll never be that special for anyone as that person might be for you. You know you'll never have someone to look in the eyes and feel peace, knowing she will stay with you, holding your hand forever.
So you're life is now upside down, totally fucked up, so fucked up you don't know what to do anymore. You've been holding on so many years, falling in love with people who don't love you back, trying to move on... but this time, this time you don't have the strenght to hold on anymore. This time you just wish feelings wouldn't exist so you don't have to worry about it, so you don't suffer... so all you can do is hold on to what you've got and be thankful because you have friends, family, health and music, so you don't feel incomplete, so your friends won't think you don't appreciate them and everything they do just because they can see you feel empty.

You feel hopeless. This time you just want to give up. And that's all you can think about.